Saturday, June 11, 2011

Never A Good Sign

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice?

I mean, the day had started off rough enough as it was. I woke up with very vivid memories of holding, smelling, kissing and snuggling a sweet little baby that I will never meet this side of heaven. It's been almost two years, but at certain times and on certain dates I will always think of that little one. I'm thankful for the dreams, even if they are bittersweet. I'll always miss that little peanut.

It had been a long week of sickness for me (SHEESH, what IS it with my HEALTH this year?!) and I stayed home from church... with three of the kids. Not much rest there, but hey, that's part of the job description of "Mother", right?

While we sat in the living room after breakfast, one of our little girls admitted she'd wet the bed the night before. Part of her deal is that if she has an accident she must help clean it up, so I sent her upstairs to gather the wet clothing and bring down the wet bedding if she could. Went back to chatting with my husband about the week past and the week ahead and before I knew what was happening Colby was yelling "STOP!!" and I was trying to figure out just exactly why there was a trail of water across the living room floor and into the kitchen...

It wasn't water.

But you already knew that, didn't you?

And yes, the trail went all the way from her bed, down the hall, down the stairs, through the living room, and into the kitchen. Not only had there been enough wetness to do all that, there was still a puddle in the middle of her *waterproof* mattress. Oh, joy.

Thank heavens for paper towels, bleach, and Swiffer antibacterial solution!

Somehow we managed to get cleaned up and get finished with the easiest church readiness program yet: prepping only the man and the boy for church. No hairdos, no tights, and no makeup (for Mommy, of course).

Colby headed off to church with Joshua and I got started with the clean up of breakfast, which included rinsing the dishes to stack up, including the full bowl of granola the 4 year old dumped into the sink instead of eating, which filled the sink strainer that I then dropped on the floor as I attempted to empty it.

This shenanigans kept up on a steady pace as I watched one of the girls knock the coffee maker onto the floor (thankfully not full of hot coffee) spreading black coffee grounds everywhere. The more we tried to clean it up, the further the mess spread! How DO you clean that stuff up, anyway?! Paper towels, sponges, washcloths, two little blonde girls, a very interested-in-helping baby, and a wet, brown tinged, coffee-smelling broom later and we were sort of cleaned up again.

After that I found a half of a 2lb block of cheese:


Get ready!

Are you sitting down?



No, no I do not have any idea what it was doing there or WHY it was there but I did wonder where that cheese had gone to after the haystack dinner we'd had the night before. I was quite sure that if I were to ask the girls why there was a block of cheese in the bathroom they'd both point accusingly at the dog. Who is all of 8 inches tall and while he does have this cute habit of sitting up on his hind legs is getting much too old to jump all the way up onto the counter to snatch some cheese.

Yep, quite sure of it.

'Specially since he was never talented enough to do that when he was a pup.

Jump from a second story barn door? Yes.

Jump higher than 12 inches off the ground? No.


I have to admit: when the girls grew quiet upstairs at 10:30 that morning and the baby was asleep, I was simply and wholeheartedly relieved to be able to sit down and rest for a while!

Did I mention the girls were QUIET? UPSTAIRS?

Quiet and upstairs... quiet and upstairs.... quiet and upstairs....

Finally the red flags registered in my hazy, sleep deprived, not-quite-with-it mind and I ran upstairs to find this:

*indicating a very improper use of scissors, which are, of course, BANNED from the upstairs

which is a combination of hair from my childhood Cabbage Patch, a Who from Whoville doll, and Elayna's newest dolly from Grandma:

But of course, the real fun started when I saw the sheets on the bed:

Followed quickly by catching a glimpse of the almost-but-not-quite-out-of-sight hidden treasure:

Oh yes, hair. Not just hair from the dolls, but little blonde Emmy hair and curly Elayna hair, too.

See, I've said it before and I'll say it again: It's HAZARDOUS for mothers to get sick!!! Why does God allow mothers to get sick? I truly, honestly have no good explanation for that, but it's on my short list of things to ask when I finally get to see Him!

No good comes from a household with a sick Mommy.

Oh, and if you're thinking to yourself right now, "Whoa, those kids are CRAZY and OUT of CONTROL!!", you are absolutely right! And someday when you least expect it, you're going to get sick, too. Suddenly there will be behaviors and naughtiness that weren't even on the radar of your sweet little Puddinpop that somehow develop into full blown do-we-call-the-dr.-NOW-for-tranquilizers-for-ME-or-the-KIDS or-do-we-go-to-family-counseling or-do-we-call-the-pastor??? ...issues

They know when you're weak...

**And Kelly - if you're now trying to catch a breath and not hyperventilate... it's okay, you can hardly see it, especially on Elayna's curly little head! I promise! They'll look just fine for Flower Girl duty!

Just don't look too closely!


Bethany said...

Oh wow!! Hope you feel better really FAST! I'll pray that God gives you strength in the mean time.

cowartclan said...

Oh, I've had my days and no longer judge, JUST SMILE AND NOD. Kids.... ah kids.... It's a good thing that they are so cute!

GorgeUSAllens said...

Mama said there'd be days like this...

Rachel said...

I've often thought that if I were to write down what things I deal with on a daily basis that I'd scare off anybody thinking of having kids of ever having them. But it's hilarious to read your account. Totally sympathize! Get better soon!


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