There is no Bose stereo system.
Instead, there's a tape deck and a readout that doesn't light up all the way making it impossible to tell what station you're on.
There are no heated leather seats.
Instead, there are three cloth covered bench seats.
There is no Latch system to hook up the carseats in a flash.
Instead, there are.... lap belts?? Uh, guess I need to read the carseat manuals to remember how to hook up the things properly with just a lap belt.
There is no digital clock, thermometer or compass.
Instead, there is a screw-on old-style compass right on the very top of my dash.
That doesn't work.
And a window to look out to tell me what the weather's like. Uh, cold and snowy, anyone?
There are no idiot lights, no bell ringing calling me a "ding-dong" when I'm low on fuel, and no beeping whenever there's a door that's not quite closed.
Instead, there is me, trying not to be an idiot without the idiots lights, saying "Grraaar!" when I realize the needle is pointing toward the "E" and I'm late for school.
There is no windshield wiper for the back window.
Instead, there's a snow-and-ice encrusted back window that never defrosts and takes two people to roll down and back up.
That's right, we're talking about my *new ride.
*and by new I mean old. VERY old. As old as the hills. Could be called a classic. Or vintage. Yes, we'll go with vintage.
Come party with me like it's Nineteen-Eighty-SIX!!!
We're talking the year that brought us Pop Secret microwave popcorn, introduced us to Windows, and made a whole lot of *us fall in love with Tom Cruise in Top Gun .
"Come on and take a Riiiide intooo the DANGa ZONE!"
*and by "us" I mean "everyone but me" because, hello, I was SEVEN when that movie came out and it was not a kid-friendly movie therefore I was not allowed to watch that movie.... ever. Although I finally did when I was a senior in high school more than 10 years later. When I was at a friend's house. Sorry, Mom.
Back to 1986 - when *spandex, jazzercise, and aquanet were household words. When gas was $.89/gallon! When even t-shirts and sweaters came with shoulder pads.
*and when I say "spandex" I truly am talking about that clothing made of fabric so skin-tight I can't even post a retro-pic of it on my blog!
Anyway, some of you right now might be thinking, WHY? Why on earth would I do such a thing to myself willingly? And you would, of course, be echoing my own pitiful thoughts of late.
I admit it. The first time I sat in my new car I went into shock. Culture shock. I'll let you know when I come out of my daze. The adjustment period will hopefully take no more than 12 months.
I'll remember the reason we chose to up-downgrade one of these days. Something about having more room than our old one and being debt-free.
Now and then I feel a little sting when I think of the knock to my "status" the older "status symbol" brings along with it. And then I bite my cheek and think of the road trips we'll take with the kids piled up in the back and the open road in front of us and it's all good.
"Live like no other now so that later you can live like no other!" - Dave Ramsey