Just what IS my calling, anyway?, my heart wonders.
We're going to go through this again?, He answers.
Well, yes, Lord, now that you mention it, I seem to need to revisit this AGAIN, I sigh.
Sometimes it feels like my "calling" to be a homemaker really just entails being called to referee another argument, to change another diaper, to fix another meal and clean it up and do the dishes and wash the clothes and clean the bathroom and bathe a dirty little grub or pick up another toy.
How can THAT be a "calling"?
You mean to ask Me how the sum of those things could possibly add up to a complete calling?
Well.... yes, I reply. IS that adding up to something great? Is the whole much bigger than the parts? Do they fit into an equation that you could show me on some exponential growth chart to prove the point of my worth in these tiny little daily tasks?
You're thinking about it from the INside of a very small box, He says. You need to think OUTside the box.
Yeah, I know I have some trouble seeing things 'outside the box' like my brothers do. I guess I should have spent more time with them and their airplanes than with my nose in another "Anne" book.
They were not called to the same thing you are called to, He explains. And how much did those "Anne" books draw your heart into a desire to THIS calling? It was Me calling you and I knew how those books would draw you, gently, constantly, even now as you think of them they are still drawing your heart to the simple joys I have waiting for you.
Now, tell Me what you are NOT called to, then.
I am NOT called to be discontent, to want more than I have, to constantly reach for things I don't need.
Good start. Now, turn that around.
Okay, then I AM called to be content, to be happy with what I have, to let go of desires to have things I DON'T need!
Keep going, Daughter.
I am NOT called to be constantly present with or available to the people online or on the phone.
I AM called to be present with AND available to the people You have given me to train, teach, and disciple in a face-to-face, heart-to-heart manner.
I am NOT called to dress my kids in gymboree from head to toe. (Yeah, but Lord, that is REALLY fun and is such a stress reliever to just sit and search the web for great deals to match all the little cuties and .....)
Trust me, kiddo, the wardrobe they'll have in heaven is beyond anything you can imagine!
I AM called to teach them to value things NOT of this world above things of this world.
I am NOT called to spend ridiculous amounts of time cleaning or cooking. I mean, I *think* I'm not called to those things, right? Sometimes it seems that if the house isn't spotless and the best vegan food isn't on the table that I've failed You!
I've seen you make great progress lately on being more efficient with your time in the kitchen, and yes, child, there are more important things to make progress on than your cooking. The hearts and minds of your precious children take priority, though you would probably be surprised at how many ways you can teach them about Me through these seemingly small things.
I am NOT called to drive an Escalade, carry a Dooney bag, have an ipad, an iphone, or an ipod, get my hair done more than once a year, have a gym membership, or even own a dishwasher, apparently.
Now you're just being facetious.
I am NOT called to be constantly running here and there and trying to escape my duties at home.
I AM called to be at home with my children.
We'll talk more about that later.
Aaaak!!! I know what You're going to say, Lord, and I don't know if I can handle it! I mean, how many times have I heard, "God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called" but WHAT does that MEAN?!?!
Slow down, there, Sweetie! One. Step. At. A. Time. I'm drawing you. You feel it. Your path is taking you in that direction and you're afraid, but how did you get here? Wouldn't you have been afraid to be *here* even a year ago if you'd known where you were headed? Just be willing to let me guide your footsteps. That's all I ask.
I will trust.
I am willing.
I am NOT called to be a career woman.
I AM called to be a homemaker.
A HOME-Maker. What does that mean to you?
I don't know, Lord! Sometimes it feels like my definition of "Home" was screwed up all along!
Well, if it was "screwed up", let's Nail It Down!
Think about it, Child! When you say "home", you mean out west. Or the house you live in right now. Tell Me now, where is your Real home?
Why isn't that your first response? Why do you sound hesitant to respond so? What is "home" but the place where those you love are? Who loves you more than I?
No one, Lord.
What is your calling, my Lisa?
I AM called to be a Home-Maker.
To show my children what Home is so they will be always drawn to it, to You, so they will recognize Your voice as that of none other than "Father". To give them memories that remind them of what the definition of these words are: Family, Home, Father, and Love .
Why? So I can "show them off" in Heaven or here on this earth? No, rather so that they too can take their knowledge and model these definitions to people in their own homes and around the world.
If there was ever a calling that one could possibly be unqualified for no matter the training or education beforehand it is this: to be a Mother and a HomeMaker.
Please, Lord, don't leave me alone in this task. Give me strength to grasp Your strength. Give me wisdom, much more than I have. Qualify me for the things I am called to do in this tiny little life of mine.As I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.