Friday, November 19, 2010
You Might Be A Mother...
In a tribute to Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be A Redneck...", let me introduce you to:
You Might Be A Mother:
If you have ever wondered why your hair is departing from your head like herds of lemmings but your legs look like forests and your eyebrows look like bushes, you might be a Mother.
If you've ever peed on a stick, photographed that stick, scanned that stick, tweaked, retweaked, inverted, and uploaded those pictures to a site called canyouseealine.com, you might be a Mother.
If you've ever been loudly praised for your bowel movements in the Target restroom while a chorus of snickers drifted under the stall doors, you might be a Mother.
If you've ever cleaned "floaties" out of a bathtub, you might be a Mother.
If you've ever spent the night being puked on repeatedly and still gave comfort and kisses while silently gagging, you might be a Mother.
If you've ever used the restroom with a baby on your lap in an airplane lavatory, or with a sleeping baby in the sling on your chest, or with a toddler watching, you might be a Mother.
If you've ever realized that you've been paged ("mom. mom. mom. Mom. MOM. MO-OM!!") for the past 5 minutes straight because you didn't "hear" them, you might be a Mother.
On the other hand - If you've ever "heard" the way-too-quiet silence of a child in another room, you might be a Mother.
If you really, really love Magic Erasers (even if they don't remove permanent marker from cabinets), because you've spent so much time with them, some crayon marks, and the walls of your house, that you've "bonded" you might be a Mother.
If you've ever fed the dog by opening the door to the car and letting her in the back seat... you might be a Mother. (or maybe I should say Father on that one?!)
If you've ever wondered how on earth your heart can still beat when it's been chopped into 4 little parts and is running around on 8 little legs outside of your body, you might be a Mother.
Posted by Lisa at 9:19 PM