My little snuggle-bug! April 5, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Siblings
My big boy and biggie girl! Getting along better with the wonderful pleasure of playing outside together instead of cooped up all day in the house together! April 3, 2009
Just Hangin' Out
March 31: Colby's trip to WA
That’s exactly what Colby said to me this morning when I called just before 9, when his interview was supposed to start. He was just “hangin’ out”. At that point it just seemed so absurd that it became laughable.
It’s been a rough day. I have talked to Colby several times and just keep trying to sound like I’m taking it all in stride, that we’ll be okay. That I’LL be okay even if nothing happens out there besides a lovely little visit to the family! In between, though, I’ve been just trying to slow down the rush of frustration and sometimes it falls apart for a few minutes before I can get it back together again.
Ah. All there is to do is just sit and wait. Turns out, in a long and complicated story that almost feels too full of BS to be true, they’ve rescheduled the interview (of sorts) for 1:30 PDT (right now, in other words). So now it is my turn to just hang out and wait. I’ve said the prayers, I’ve fretted and I’ve done my best to be calm and supportive to Colby and not add to his burden or worry.
So I got up off my chair and began working on those darn chores that have to be done. EVERY DAY! lol. It’s not so bad as I make it out to be. I do enjoy it. And it goes quickly now without having to haul water!
Stolen kitty has returned, fat as ever. I do wish she’d come in and be a respectable house kitty. She’d make a nice one, friendly and all, and would have saved me from having to poison the 3 (!!!) mice that took up residence in this old farmhouse this winter. I have a sneaking suspicion that there is another mouse, already deceased, somewhere in a heating duct or something. It’s not pleasant. And probably more information than you wanted to know.
Moving on then. Rayne is feisier than ever, looking for reasons to kick Reb or Bear, even though he’s minding his own business in his own pen. Fancy is still up to her usual antics switching pens at random and showing up one day in Bear’s pen and the next morning in her own. I keep wanting to get brave and just sit on one of them, but now that Baron’s gone I don’t know which one would give me the least trouble, really. Besides that, the last time I sat on a horse since giving birth to 3 children was down right painful. Just to sit there. Forget trying to survive a walk, or.. good lord, a TROT. Ouch. It felt like my pelvis was BROKEN. Maybe now that it’s been almost 2 years all those joints would actually work properly and not have any of that looseness required for birthing those big noggins left over.
It’s really windy today, from the southeast, no less, and the hay is full of alfalfa, so it has a lot of fluff and blows away very easily. By the time I’d carried Fancy’s out to her I was covered in hay. Or, rather, I was FULL of hay. By the time I got back to the house I felt as though someone had been stuffing handfuls of hay down my shirt. And upon further examination, I found that I Looked like that was the case, too! It’s amazing how tiny little pieces of hay can make their way through several layers of clothes to lodge inside of an (ahem) undergarment.
The bunnies seem to be really enjoying the alfalfa. Fancy must be sharing her hut with a nice fat family judging by the signs of it. Hotdog’s gonna have a lovely time this spring hunting them down.
There are only about 2 dozen bales left in the loft, it’s getting pretty bare now, but I think we’ve got arrangements to get 50 more or so to last us through April. I slowed down as I went through the motions in the tack room today and just listened to the sound of my boots on the wooden planks of the floor. I love the way the sound echoes around, the way the boards are rounded and smooth at the edges. The old windows and the cobwebs call to me and remind me that the dreams of girlhood still live there. I didn’t get to grow up with horses and barns, tack rooms and haylofts. But in so many ways, R’s memories are my own. They exist for me somewhere in a bubble of time not really lived. They’ve mixed together, her memories and mine, and have been cut from the fabric of our friendship and been made over into a solid, warm quilt of crazy stripes and log cabins and migrating geese. It’s real in a world where most people think reality is what they see on a tv show. Selective, maybe yes, but I believe done with God’s blessing. She was sent to my life by His hand. For then to show us the better sides of ourselves. For now, to hold each other up through life’s unrelenting roller coasters, celebrate the new, and grieve together for the old. For the future, who knows? I believe He still has reasons beyond our grasp, to be seen just when needed most.
Well, I did get sidetracked from the boring sentiments about the rest of the critters floating around here, but that’s okay. Mostly I just needed to write right now, and I kinda like where it went :)
Little Monsters
Don't let those adorable little faces fool you! They have their moments of monsterishness! March 28, 2009.
Long Day
March 27, 2009: Colby's trip to WA
Started off with a bang this morning with the alarm going off at 2:30 and a very obnoxious bright light turning on over my head. D&B arrived within 10 minutes and we were pretty much all set to go! Everything had been packed the night before, so mostly it was just a matter of getting our brains to thaw out enough to function properly before operating a motor vehicle.
Stopped for coffee in town just after 3 am and as we paid we were told to “Have a good night!” I laughed as we walked out to the car, telling Colby, “You know you are up way too early when you are still being wished a good night!” Still didn’t seem all that out of the ordinary for us. Yesterday morning I was up at 3:30 and we’re typically up at 4:30 or earlier even on the weekends.
The drive went quickly and we were at the GR airport just after 5. We did the curbside drop-off but I ran in to use the restroom before we said goodbye so I wouldn’t have to stop somewhere back up the road. I got a lot of strange looks as I quickly tried to locate the ladies’ room and it took me a while to figure out that it does look kind of odd to see someone rushing through the airport at 5 am with no purse, no luggage, no other people, etc. And then once I realized, I couldn’t help but have this sort of suppressed smile that I’m sure looked more like a smirk. If I would have just said the word “bomb” out of the side of my mouth my day could have gone awry in a hurry!
We said our goodbyes and I kissed him with his newly prickly chin and promised to be praying for him. It seems so very odd to be sending him out there without me. If someone had told me a year ago this is what I would do today, I would have laughed and never thought twice about it. That’s how it is with most things in our lives, though, isn’t it?
I was back in the north country before 8 and stopped for gas and ran in to walmart for some frozen pizza, eggos, and bananas. You know, the staples for a weekend of single parenting! Back in town I stopped at the car wash and vaccuumed out the back of the car before going over to D&B’s to pick up the kids and put the car seats back in my car. I’m sure I could have fed a flock of song birds for a month on the crumbs back there!
Ate breakfast with the family over there and took a quick 30 min. cat nap while the kids watched the backyardigans and then loaded up the carseats, the kids, and the myriad of blankets, cups, diapers, stuffed animals, and mismatched clothing that came with them.
At home I unloaded the car and put everything away, took Elayna up for a nap, and cleaned the kitchen. After lunch I sent Josh and Emmy up for their naps then tried to occupy Elayna with books while I went outside and brought in several armloads of firewood since we’re supposed to get snow this weekend. Fed the dogs, and then out to feed the horses. Stolen kitty has been missing for about a week now. Gave everybody their hay and grain, carried Fancy’s out to her stall and then had to go lift the fence for her to walk under to get back into her pen. She won’t stay in the fence, but she doesn’t wander too far and I just have to make sure the fence is unplugged before I go help her get back in! Crazy girl. Getting shocked doesn’t deter the old lady one bit.
After that I came back in and tried to get Elayna to lay down on the chair beside me so I could catch a few zzz’s. What she really wanted to do was sit on top of me and bounce around all giggly like. So I watched some of this new Netflix I have called 1900 House. Colby would be impressed with the renovation they did to the house to make it authentic. It was entertaining, I think. You know, the part that my fuzzy brain caught anyway.
Was talking on the phone with my mom and wondering where Colby was since he should have been on the ground for 2 hours or so at the time of the phone call, when I went upstairs to get Emmy up from her nap. I was hoping to possibly put Elayna down for a second nap, but not a chance. The shock of the smell and sight of a poopy 3 year old standing on her bed all gross like never fades no matter how many times you see it. Out of desperation I always seem to stand there saying, “Why? Why?” And the reply never fails to strike on that last nerve, “…because!”
I managed to get her downstairs without getting yucky myself somehow, and stood her there in the living room assessing the situation. Finally, because I am so very much at my wits’ end with her, I find I can do nothing but sink to my knees and pray (out loud) for the strength to get through the next 15 minutes without losing it and becoming a very bad mommy. And for some reason, my kids think this is HILARIOUS. Raucous laughter erupts from them and for once that actually helps me get through the moment. 30 disposable wipes later Emmy is ready to get into the bathtub.
I love the inventor of disposable wipes.
I stuck Elayna in the bath tub too and then ran upstairs to remove whatever was poopy from the bedroom. 2 minutes later I came back downstairs to find a tiny little naked rear end streaking through the house! Apparently the little one was done with the bath. I stuck her back in there and dunked her around enough to get her clean and soaped up, then went through the chore of washing her hair. She’s her Daddy’s girl and doesn’t really like water all that much. Every time I wash her hair and rinse it she thinks I’m trying to drown her. It doesn’t matter which way I do it, it’s always the same story. After that I got her out, dried her off, brushed her hair under protest, and dressed her in her jammies. Then I ran back upstairs to clean and disinfect the surfaces and spray the carpet in the girls’ bedroom. Yes, it really did require all of that.
Funny how I can clean my kid’s poop from who knows where all I’ve cleaned it from without gagging one bit, but if I see my little lap dog puke on the kitchen floor I am guaranteed a few good dry heaves. Sorry. I know that’s way too much information, but I’m getting a little tired as I sit here and write this!
As I come back down after the second cleaning trip upstairs, I see the second little girl streaking around all dripping wet and have to send her back into the tub to finish cleaning up. After she is clean and dried and dressed in her jammies I sat down and set about the task of combing through the rat’s nest she has grown over the last 24 hours. How she manages to do that I’ll never know. Finally I threw the little hotdog into the old bathwater and scrubbed him up with some of that leftover baby shampoo. He gives me a look that says, “yep, the degradation is now complete.” when I finish him up with some pretty smelling conditioner. Oh well. He gets to sleep upstairs all weekend. He’ll get over it.
Colby finally called and said he’d made it after having to switch planes in Minneapolis from the one with the bum engine to a new one that had to be fueled up and prepped for passengers and all the luggage switched over. Apparently they were taxiing when they realized the engine was out and had to go back to the terminal. I’m so glad they found that out BEFORE they took off. Took some of my stress off to hear his voice and know he was on the ground safely.
Dinner came next, which made me deliriously glad I had a few frozen pizzas to throw in the oven! I washed dishes while that baked, then we picked up the living room and vaccuumed while it cooled off. After dinner was cleaned up I swept and scrubbed counters, then put away a bunch of folded laundry before worship. Bedtime was nice and peaceful and now it is nice and quiet up there. No worrisome noises! I put up one last load of wash on the living room line to dry overnight so I can wash those poopy things as soon as possible, and stoked up the fire because it was starting to snow.
I’m enjoying my Fernando Ortega cd and the Lilac Blossoms candle, but I think it’s now time to go to bed. It truly has been a LONG day.
Started off with a bang this morning with the alarm going off at 2:30 and a very obnoxious bright light turning on over my head. D&B arrived within 10 minutes and we were pretty much all set to go! Everything had been packed the night before, so mostly it was just a matter of getting our brains to thaw out enough to function properly before operating a motor vehicle.
Stopped for coffee in town just after 3 am and as we paid we were told to “Have a good night!” I laughed as we walked out to the car, telling Colby, “You know you are up way too early when you are still being wished a good night!” Still didn’t seem all that out of the ordinary for us. Yesterday morning I was up at 3:30 and we’re typically up at 4:30 or earlier even on the weekends.
The drive went quickly and we were at the GR airport just after 5. We did the curbside drop-off but I ran in to use the restroom before we said goodbye so I wouldn’t have to stop somewhere back up the road. I got a lot of strange looks as I quickly tried to locate the ladies’ room and it took me a while to figure out that it does look kind of odd to see someone rushing through the airport at 5 am with no purse, no luggage, no other people, etc. And then once I realized, I couldn’t help but have this sort of suppressed smile that I’m sure looked more like a smirk. If I would have just said the word “bomb” out of the side of my mouth my day could have gone awry in a hurry!
We said our goodbyes and I kissed him with his newly prickly chin and promised to be praying for him. It seems so very odd to be sending him out there without me. If someone had told me a year ago this is what I would do today, I would have laughed and never thought twice about it. That’s how it is with most things in our lives, though, isn’t it?
I was back in the north country before 8 and stopped for gas and ran in to walmart for some frozen pizza, eggos, and bananas. You know, the staples for a weekend of single parenting! Back in town I stopped at the car wash and vaccuumed out the back of the car before going over to D&B’s to pick up the kids and put the car seats back in my car. I’m sure I could have fed a flock of song birds for a month on the crumbs back there!
Ate breakfast with the family over there and took a quick 30 min. cat nap while the kids watched the backyardigans and then loaded up the carseats, the kids, and the myriad of blankets, cups, diapers, stuffed animals, and mismatched clothing that came with them.
At home I unloaded the car and put everything away, took Elayna up for a nap, and cleaned the kitchen. After lunch I sent Josh and Emmy up for their naps then tried to occupy Elayna with books while I went outside and brought in several armloads of firewood since we’re supposed to get snow this weekend. Fed the dogs, and then out to feed the horses. Stolen kitty has been missing for about a week now. Gave everybody their hay and grain, carried Fancy’s out to her stall and then had to go lift the fence for her to walk under to get back into her pen. She won’t stay in the fence, but she doesn’t wander too far and I just have to make sure the fence is unplugged before I go help her get back in! Crazy girl. Getting shocked doesn’t deter the old lady one bit.
After that I came back in and tried to get Elayna to lay down on the chair beside me so I could catch a few zzz’s. What she really wanted to do was sit on top of me and bounce around all giggly like. So I watched some of this new Netflix I have called 1900 House. Colby would be impressed with the renovation they did to the house to make it authentic. It was entertaining, I think. You know, the part that my fuzzy brain caught anyway.
Was talking on the phone with my mom and wondering where Colby was since he should have been on the ground for 2 hours or so at the time of the phone call, when I went upstairs to get Emmy up from her nap. I was hoping to possibly put Elayna down for a second nap, but not a chance. The shock of the smell and sight of a poopy 3 year old standing on her bed all gross like never fades no matter how many times you see it. Out of desperation I always seem to stand there saying, “Why? Why?” And the reply never fails to strike on that last nerve, “…because!”
I managed to get her downstairs without getting yucky myself somehow, and stood her there in the living room assessing the situation. Finally, because I am so very much at my wits’ end with her, I find I can do nothing but sink to my knees and pray (out loud) for the strength to get through the next 15 minutes without losing it and becoming a very bad mommy. And for some reason, my kids think this is HILARIOUS. Raucous laughter erupts from them and for once that actually helps me get through the moment. 30 disposable wipes later Emmy is ready to get into the bathtub.
I love the inventor of disposable wipes.
I stuck Elayna in the bath tub too and then ran upstairs to remove whatever was poopy from the bedroom. 2 minutes later I came back downstairs to find a tiny little naked rear end streaking through the house! Apparently the little one was done with the bath. I stuck her back in there and dunked her around enough to get her clean and soaped up, then went through the chore of washing her hair. She’s her Daddy’s girl and doesn’t really like water all that much. Every time I wash her hair and rinse it she thinks I’m trying to drown her. It doesn’t matter which way I do it, it’s always the same story. After that I got her out, dried her off, brushed her hair under protest, and dressed her in her jammies. Then I ran back upstairs to clean and disinfect the surfaces and spray the carpet in the girls’ bedroom. Yes, it really did require all of that.
Funny how I can clean my kid’s poop from who knows where all I’ve cleaned it from without gagging one bit, but if I see my little lap dog puke on the kitchen floor I am guaranteed a few good dry heaves. Sorry. I know that’s way too much information, but I’m getting a little tired as I sit here and write this!
As I come back down after the second cleaning trip upstairs, I see the second little girl streaking around all dripping wet and have to send her back into the tub to finish cleaning up. After she is clean and dried and dressed in her jammies I sat down and set about the task of combing through the rat’s nest she has grown over the last 24 hours. How she manages to do that I’ll never know. Finally I threw the little hotdog into the old bathwater and scrubbed him up with some of that leftover baby shampoo. He gives me a look that says, “yep, the degradation is now complete.” when I finish him up with some pretty smelling conditioner. Oh well. He gets to sleep upstairs all weekend. He’ll get over it.
Colby finally called and said he’d made it after having to switch planes in Minneapolis from the one with the bum engine to a new one that had to be fueled up and prepped for passengers and all the luggage switched over. Apparently they were taxiing when they realized the engine was out and had to go back to the terminal. I’m so glad they found that out BEFORE they took off. Took some of my stress off to hear his voice and know he was on the ground safely.
Dinner came next, which made me deliriously glad I had a few frozen pizzas to throw in the oven! I washed dishes while that baked, then we picked up the living room and vaccuumed while it cooled off. After dinner was cleaned up I swept and scrubbed counters, then put away a bunch of folded laundry before worship. Bedtime was nice and peaceful and now it is nice and quiet up there. No worrisome noises! I put up one last load of wash on the living room line to dry overnight so I can wash those poopy things as soon as possible, and stoked up the fire because it was starting to snow.
I’m enjoying my Fernando Ortega cd and the Lilac Blossoms candle, but I think it’s now time to go to bed. It truly has been a LONG day.
Out for a Walk
March 17, 2009:
Sunday night I was finally able to go for a walk. It was almost surreal! I tied on my tennis shoes and walked down the slushy driveway and stepped out onto the pavement of the road for the first time in months. I walked up past the maple trees to the end of the road and turned toward B&R’s house. The sun was at my back and I watched my shadow walk in front of me as I went, tendrils of hair swirling around me in the warm breeze. I turned around at the end of our field and retraced my steps back to the corner, taking deep breaths as I went. I crossed back in front of our house and down the dip to the river. I was in such a nice rhythm I didn’t stop on the first bridge and almost didn’t stop on the second. But the pause there at the river is the highlight of my walks. It is the sound of the rushing water, tumbling over the rocks, sweeping along the branches leaning their arms down to get a drink, the whisper in the woods.
Eventually I pulled myself away and finished walking up to the stop sign and turned around again. Back over the bridges I went, this time drinking in the smell of the evergreens on the island. It’s like heaven to me. It reaches way down into my soul and touches the old, good memories of childhood in me and reminds me of times and things I haven’t thought of in a long time. It reminds me of pieces of myself I’ve forgotten.
As I drew closer to my own driveway again I stopped suddenly at the edge of my yard as 5 gorgeous fat robins fluttered up into the branches of the walnut tree. I watched them for a while and waiting until they were comfortable enough with me to return to their hunt for edibles on the big patches of bare ground now visible. It was a happy sight, and the walk was, in a word, restorative.
Sunday night I was finally able to go for a walk. It was almost surreal! I tied on my tennis shoes and walked down the slushy driveway and stepped out onto the pavement of the road for the first time in months. I walked up past the maple trees to the end of the road and turned toward B&R’s house. The sun was at my back and I watched my shadow walk in front of me as I went, tendrils of hair swirling around me in the warm breeze. I turned around at the end of our field and retraced my steps back to the corner, taking deep breaths as I went. I crossed back in front of our house and down the dip to the river. I was in such a nice rhythm I didn’t stop on the first bridge and almost didn’t stop on the second. But the pause there at the river is the highlight of my walks. It is the sound of the rushing water, tumbling over the rocks, sweeping along the branches leaning their arms down to get a drink, the whisper in the woods.
Eventually I pulled myself away and finished walking up to the stop sign and turned around again. Back over the bridges I went, this time drinking in the smell of the evergreens on the island. It’s like heaven to me. It reaches way down into my soul and touches the old, good memories of childhood in me and reminds me of times and things I haven’t thought of in a long time. It reminds me of pieces of myself I’ve forgotten.
As I drew closer to my own driveway again I stopped suddenly at the edge of my yard as 5 gorgeous fat robins fluttered up into the branches of the walnut tree. I watched them for a while and waiting until they were comfortable enough with me to return to their hunt for edibles on the big patches of bare ground now visible. It was a happy sight, and the walk was, in a word, restorative.
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