Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Mommy School

Well, you'd think after this many years some of these lessons would have been learned long ago. I don't know, maybe they were and I just can't remember!

Things I Have Learned Recently:

1. Adding to the list of prime times for baby blowouts: 6:55 AM. As in, RIGHT when we are piling into the car to get to school on time. I thought church was the main target for blowout time, but now we have a DAILY prime time. Fun.

2. Being new-mommy tired makes a girl loopy. I don't need alcohol embarrass myself. I'm quite capable of doing it all on my own while sleep-deprived. Just ask the poor couple Colby and I went on a double-date with this weekend. Not only did I talk baby talk, call my husband "Daddy" in public, and have to stop for a nursing break in the wal-mart parking lot, I actually fell asleep in the car on the way home. I was SO not going to be that mom.

3. All of those great, wonderful, healthy things I craved while pregnant? Completely replaced by cravings that include chocolate, chocolate, and, um.... chocolate. Oh, and more chocolate. So. Replacing that bag of hubby's peanut M&M's that disappeared has been... somewhat of a challenge. I'm quite sure I replaced them... twice...And I don't even LIKE peanut M&M's! I may have to rescind that statement now. Still not really sure if I like them. Might just be the hormones, you know.

4. Diaper bags not only have to be restocked, they have to be UN-stocked. Because if you don't, the whole car will, in fact, start to smell funny.

5. What do you do when you've left the diaper bag in the car overnight and the wipes have frozen solid AND you haven't had a shower in 3 days? Shove one frozen wipe under each arm and VOILA! you've killed two birds with one stone. Defrosted wipes AND smelling fresh as a daisy. Everybody wins. Except maybe the mom in the perfectly clean car next to you with perfect hair and perfect kids wondering why on earth there are very high-pitched squeals coming from the front seat of the car next to her.

6. If you've ever wondered what to do if you find yourself in the mall bathroom with a half-naked baby because you, once again, FORGOT to stock the diaper bag and have no new diaper to put on her - just peel and slap a sanitary pad onto a burp cloth, snap it into the onesie and off you go - this is of course, a VERY short term solution.

7. NEVER say never. There is always more to learn as a mom, whether it's your first time or your fourth!


Nabila Grace said...

seriously...I just sat here laughing so much I was crying...poor hubby sure didn't understand :oP It's a mommy thing!!

Rachel said...

You're hilarious! I love #6. I haven't done that yet. But I do know burp rags can be fashioned into underwear when my 2 1/2 year old potty trainer has a an accident though. Hope my creative genius comes out like that when the need arises.


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